"F.U.C.K."

Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
Fuck can be used as a verb both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him).
It can be an active verb (he really gives a fuck),
a passive verb (she really doesn't give a fuck),
an adverb (she is fucking interested in him) and a noun (she is a fine fuck).
Fuck can be used as an adjective (she is fucking beautiful).
As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with "fuck".
It pops up everywhere.

Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:

GREETING - How the fuck are you?
FRAUD - I got fucked by that crook;
DISMAY - Oh, fuck it!;
TROUBLE - I'm fucked now!;
CONFUSION - What the fuck?!;
AGGRESSION - "Fuck you!";
DISGUST - "Fuck me"
DESPAIR - Fucked again!;
PHILOSOPHY - "Who gives a fuck?"
INCOMPETENCE - "He's a real fuck-off";
DISPLEASURE - "What the fuck is going on here?"
NUMEROLOGY - "Sixty-fuckin'-nine";
LOST - "Where the fuck are we?"
DISBELIEF - "Unfuckingbelievable
RETALIATION - Up your fucking ass!"
REBELLION - Fuck it!;
DISPLEASURE - What the fuck's going on?;
SATISFACTION - fuck me again!

Also as:

DESCRIPTIVE ANATOMY - "He's a fuckin' asshole!"
TO TELL TIME - "It's six-fucking-thirty." AS A
PREDICTION - "Well, I'll be fucked!"
A POLITICAL STATEMENT - "Fuck Washington"
INCESTUOUS - "Motherfucker"
A PUT DOWN - "Fuck off, buster!"
ALL ENCOMPASSING - "Fuck 'em all!"
GOVERNMENTAL AFFAIRS - "Fuck the IRS"
A POKER HAND - "A royal fuck"
TO START A RELATIONSHIP - "Let's fuck now!"
AS AN ACCEPTANCE - "Fuckin' eh!"
ENJOYMENT - "Fuckin' Wow!" "
A CLOSING - "Fuckingly yours".
Maternal - "Motherfucker"
POLITICAL - Fuck Clinton

Never forget the quotes of some famous people in our history and in the present:

Michelangelo - " You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling "
George Custer: Where did all these Fucking indians come from?
Einstein: "Any fucker can understand that"
Mayor of Hiroshima: What the fuck was that?
Heidi Fleuss: Fuck these celebrities!
John Wayne:"Fuck death and the lung cancer he rode in on."
What the fuck's this inhaling thing - Bill Clinton
You're all fucking liars - Oliver North
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck etc. - Sean Penn
Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you. Who's next? -Eddie Murphy


A FULL LIST OF TERMS FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

Taken from emails and posts received in the thread "All terms for copulation NOW" on alt.tasteless.jokes
Compiled by Richard Green (GreenRL@rikk.demon.co.uk)
Date last revised: 05/09/95
Please feel free to email direct any additions that you see are missing from the list.
Thank you. Email to: sexterms@rikk.demon.co.uk

Terms ending with "'ing": -------------------------

Shafting Slamming Banging Fucking Pumping

Bonking Screwing Shagging Hosing Porking

Poking Nailing Hammering Ramming Humping

Stuffing Tooling Scrumping Grinding Romping

Boning Fornicating Skroging Plugging


Slang and more 'colourful' terms: ---------------------------------

Doing "it"

Making love

Having it off

Poking the bearded triangle

Getting some skins

Bumping nasties

Getting your leg-over

Driving the pink love bus into Tuna Town

Taking the skin boat to Tuna Town

Hide the salami

Sheltering under the pink umbrella

Getting laid

Going halvsies on an orgasm

Doing the ugly-bumpy

Horizontal dancing

Wetting your willy

Grabbing some snatch

Reeling in the fish

Spear the bearded clam

Knocking boots

Shoving her beaver with your lever

Horizontal folk-dancing

Holstering the Cum-Gun?

Squashing the meat

Horizontal jogging

Plugging your main cable into her love socket

Dinky tickle

Riding the nag

Porkin' de ho

Nailin' de cunt

Taking an albino piss

The Aztec Two Step

Horizontal hula

Dunk the dolphin

Splitting the hamster

Gettin' it on

Doing the nasty

Pickleville Express now leaving for Tuna Town, Tittiesville and all

points in between on Track 69

Doing the wild thing

Sink her with the pink torpedo

Trouser serpent in the grass

Bury the bone

Riding the baloney pony

Pumping her full of manfat

Dippin' your wick

Makin' Bacon

Penisize/Penization

Hot beef injection

Sinking your battleship

Creaming the Twinkie

Taking her temperature with a meat thermometer

Sticking it in...pulling it out

Ploughing her furrow

Fishing for kippers

Pickle tickle

Harpooning the moustachioed whale

Hiding the sausage

A wild ride on the baloney pony

Mattress dancing

The old slap and tickle

Giving the human quisenart a spin

Putting Percy to bed

Doing the tube-snake boogey

Doing the wild thing

Up to your apricots in Kipperland

Bit of the ole in and out

Getting some slickem on your hangdown!

Mud for your turtle

Leg-over and chips

Squashin' the cabbage leaves

Drivin' Miss Daisy

Fillin' the JuiceBox

Spreadin' the mayo (Miracle Whip)

Doing the horizontal tummy bump

Poking Her in the whiskers

Taking the skin boat to the tuen ocean

Trip down the mine shaft

Poking the fire

Doing the filth

Rubbing uglies

Morris-ing: so named after we found out that a friend of ours lost her

virginity in the back of a Morris Minor

Taking the old skin boat to Tuna Town

Torking your power rod

Taking old one-eye to the optomitrist

Laying some pipe

Getting your end away

Waxin' some ass wif a squigee

Doing the horizontal mambo

Driving it home

Taking the one-eyed wonder worm out for a walk

Slip-sliding away

Taking the ol' log to the beaver